Posts Tagged ‘crapple’

Apple’s and Linus’s take on Windows 7

October 23rd, 2009 No comments

Apple Propaganda, I mean PR

I posted about Microsoft’s four new Windows 7 commercials the other day and yes, they *are* commercials – they tell you a bit about the product they’re advertising. Now let’s take a look at Apple’s attempts – great PR btw! I think they were going for: ‘lets create the most douchebaggy thing to publicise our product and have people post blogs about it’. Well here’s some free PR work courtesy of Apple.

Bill Gates may go down in history for the BSoD for Windows 98 but lest we forget that little kid in school who was always jumping up and down for attention, teasing the smarter kids because he just wasn’t getting any attention.

“Now what is this? I dunno, but it works.” – Steve Jobs

“It’s pretty awesome when it works.” – Steve Jobs

It sure is Steve, it suuuuure is. Think Different. It just works. I wonder how they’ll cover having an ad-supported Mac OS X operating system in the future?

Linus Torvalds

Anyway I much prefer the suttle attitude that Linus Torvalds took at the Japan Linux Symposium.

He’s got a sense of humour (and coolness) and as a Linux user (#412328) I’m ever grateful for his operating system. Damn I miss Japan 🙁

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Four new Windows 7 Ads

October 22nd, 2009 No comments

Here’s four new Microsoft Windows 7 commercials, 7 seconds to talk about Windows 7.  Short, sweet functionality and to the point. Oh  and look, they don’t seem to need to be bashing their competitors (awww!).

Having used Windows 7 now for close to 2 months I have to say its nothing but pure awesomeness. If you have MSDN there’s no excuse not to try it out. I’ve been too busy to even blog about it 🙁

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Marshal by value: Apple’s hypocrisy is blindingly obvious.

June 10th, 2009 Comments off

So you’d all know that Apple is having their WWDC is on right now, all those excited believers (NSFW or your eyes), evangelists, elitists, iPhone users and ‘cool folks’ turning up to get their:

in-depth technical information and hands-on learning about the powerful technologies in iPhone OS and Mac OS X from the Apple engineers who created them.

(from the WWDC website) They fail to mention the usual butt-wiping they include apart of the ‘festivities’. The guaranteed Microsoft .bash‘ing and the occasional pissing-all-over-Microsoft.

Apple bashes Windows 7(Source: NeoWin -> Engadget )

Whats worse, the head poncho, Senior Vice Presidente of Software Engineering at Apple took the stage to claim that Windows 7 is the same old tech as Vista. Mr Apple man sir, may I remind you that your rotting iCandy contains parts of FreeBSD and NetBSD internally. Unix (which OS X is now certified for) predates Windows NT. Snow Leopard is also a refinement of Leopard no Señor?

Sure Microsoft may seem like one big evil company, but do you think Apple isnt? Google isnt? They’re all businesses, its all about the money, shareholders and making more moola. It’s All about the Benjamin’s buddy.

But I read an editorial written by Michael ‘Marshal’  Stanclift that screamed, YES DUDE, I AGREE. Instead of me ranting on, read what Marshal has to say. He sums it up pretty well and I back the man up.

Apple has a product that in some ways is superior to Windows, that does not have many of the problems that plague the Windows ecosystem. Apple can get away with a lot more than Microsoft can in terms of dropping support for older devices. But Apple needs to learn how to promote their technologies on their own merits, instead of acting like the pretty girl in high school that lobs insults at the ugly one to make itself feel better.

In the end though, if you want to give your support to a company who’s whole ethic seems to be bashing the competition – and quite poorly, go ahead. Give Jobs a job. They’ve got talent – cant deny that, they just dont know how to be professional about handling a bit of competition – just a bit.

Whilst on that same note, I was talking to someone at the station the other day, he was proudly showing me how his iPhone can surf the internet and I agreed that it was pretty awesome that we’re all heavily connected now. Just out of curiousity I asked him what he had before – because in his mind, the iPhone was the best thing since Xenu came and Elron Hubbard (who didn’t live in a cupboard it seems) gave us his cult relgion – and he told me he had a ‘crappy nokia from way back’. Just like people dont realise that there _were_ mp3 players before the iPod, it seems people didn’t know about SmartPhones.

Lesson? Apple knows how to sell things but it looks like they’re shitting Apples to be competitive – and you can be garanteed that the faithful will eat that right up. Windows 7 is picking up some press, what is a competitor to do?

(Remember this blog is uncut & raw, it will have swearing, it will bash companies – virtually, link to disturbing pictures of losers who think Apple is a lifestyle and have shameless digs at Apple, but chillax, its just one guys opinion. Its your money, you paid for it!)
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MILF: Apples answer to the Laptop Hunters.

April 21st, 2009 2 comments

CrApple in all its glory has released four new ads to off-beat the recent mentioning of Mac in the Laptop Hunters series.

For your enjoyment:

Bio-Hazard Suite

Watchout, theres a nasty little botnet going around if you grabbed any pirated copies of Photoshop. *APPARENTLY* OS X also comes with Photoshop for free and doesnt with PC – yes, another dumbass journalist who seems has no clue whatsoever.

  • Free Virus scanner? AVG or AVAST?
  • Free photoshop alternative? May not be a full blown photoshops, but Paint.NET does a damn good job if the GIMP doesnt like you.
  • Free media player? Duuude, VLC rocks, otherwise get the K-Lite Codec Pack none of this Quicktime crapola.
  • If you want lathargic apps, go use iTunes for Windows, otherwise try WinAMP or Foobar.
  • Mac’s are PCs too, dont let Apple’s PR people convince you otherwise. Macs just get a premium on hardware for the privilege.

Legal Copy


Time Traveller

So what does all this prove?

Apple PR

Apple seems to be going directly after Windows and yet somehow get away with bundling aall sorts of applications in their OS. Notice that the Laptop hunters mention Mac but dont just take the piss out of them? Professionalism not Mactardism.

All is OK though, Fake Steve Jobs had taken apon himself to take care of Goldman before live (you got Punk’d dude! 4:25) – notice how the staff get vocal when FS mentions that the head of PR used to be at CNBC?  This is turning out to be like the Energizer vs Duracel ads, nothing like watching the two big cats fight it out.

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CrApple iTunes sucks the life out of your CPUz

April 12th, 2009 No comments

Now that CrApple has set off the 1-Billionth iTunes Store download ticking promo, I figured it was about time I upgraded to the latest iTunes and update the iPod Touch. Install the latest, greatest, sucks-the-will-to-live iPod Touch molester. Then as every !n00b would realise that it installs a bunch of crapolaware (like crapola, only applies to software!).

Why Apple why? Why are you tying us to your QuickTime? Why the *FSCK* do I want to install your Bonjour which I have to disable after installing? Why do I have to install MobileMe if I can’t synchronise with Thunderbird? Why is all your software using the CrApple O$X UI themes? Can’t you stick to the Windows UI guidelines, is it too hard for your fruity engineers?

iTunes openned inside WinRAR

iTunes openned inside WinRAR

Dont you give your users choice? Oh shit I forgot, this is Apple we’re talking about, its Saint Steve Jobs way or the highway to Hell. Thankfully they havent bundled Safari yet.

The funny thing is, people cant speak any more highly of Apple and iTunes, but for me its an EPIC fail (NSFW), its slow, clunky, sits there waiting for shit to happen and as I just realised, doesn’t leave you alone even after you exit the application. For one hour its been sucking the life out of one my CPU-Cores (yes, its a quadcore).

iTunes after 1hr of apparently closing it.

iTunes after 1hr of apparently closing it.

Apple software on Windows, ROFL. Maybe someone should write an open letter to McJobs and see if he can finally put this fail behind us. I might even start liking Apple then.

On an alternate note, if your *serious* about your tunes you should use something thats lightweight, easy on the eye-candy and highly configurable and a  small download. Try WinAMP or my current favourite, Foobar. On Linux I use Rythmbox.

Use something that works, not what that doucebag at the coffee shop uses :p (unless your locked into using it for your iPod/iPhone – *sigh*).

Oh btw, Mac’s are Personal Computers too, not some elite piece of expensively cheap-plastic 😉

/Rant off.

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Expensive Granny Smiths: I’m just not cool enough to be a Mac person.

March 27th, 2009 No comments

A sign of the times ahead, Microsoft have released a decent commercial for Windows after the Jerry Seinfeld round of ads that made you think – wtf?

This time, we meet Lauren, who wants to buy a laptop but for a strict budget of $1000.

Alternatively you can download the full Windows Media Video version or view the Sliverlight version online.

I’m not cool enough to buy a Mac either Lauren, glad to know I’m not the only uncool guy around.

Funnily enough I had a bit of an argument with one of the guys at work the other day about Apple in general. Great timing, great marketing because its true!

Chillax, she’s only an act-tor, a cute frecked red head at that 🙂

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